original essay by Artemisia
If you want your sex personals profile to be effective you must realize that sex is a vehicle. The destination is up to you. You can use sex as an art, a sport, a path to enlightenment, a ritual, a sacrament, an ego pig-out or a weapon, just to name a few. The important thing to know is what is it for you and are you articulating your wants/need/desires to the person/persons you are asking to get into the vehicle with you. So, know yourself. Be honest. Be real. Just being polite or “nice” doesn't work. Being nice is like faking orgasm, it benefits no one. Being real is more likely to help you and your partners fulfill their innermost desires. Then, remember to be kind. We are all different and when we honor each other's differences we make the world a better place.
Sex as Art
The first time Harry saw me naked he exclaimed, “You look like the Venus of Willendorf!”
I laughed and replied, “I know what that is and if you think that is a compliment you are crazy.”
He drew himself up into his most professorial posture (he had a Ph. D. In Art History) and started lecturing me on the power of the statue. At 25,000 years old, the Venus of Willendorf is one of the oldest pieces of art in the world. The figure is to be held in the hand, not stood in some corner to be worshiped from afar. In a hunter/gatherer society her size represented fertility, prosperity, and security. She is feminine power and he wanted me to know that he valued those things in me.
When he passed a year ago, besides the devastation of losing a best friend, I also mourned the loss of the one person in the world who found me beautiful every single day. So often when we experience fear, anger, grief, and sadness, they are overwhelming because we forget that we are beautiful, that the universe is amazing, and that spring comes every year, without fail, to restore life and nourishment to the earth and to us all.
Harry truly practiced all things in his life as an Art. He never lost an opportunity to engage all senses during sex play. He bought me beautiful and fun clothes. He made sure the music complimented whatever activity we were engaging in. His collection of toys was legendary among our friends and sex partners. Whether it was swinger sex, bdsm, or roleplaying he brought an incredible sense of style and fun to every encounter.
I hope that in your exploring of the swinging lifestyle that you access that creative spirit that flows in us all. That in addition to the fun and passion, you bring beauty and sensuality into play. And I hope that you see and honor the beauty and uniqueness in everyone you meet.
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