21st Century Britain Swingers

Swinging is a safe, international, middle class and increasingly popular leisure choice for married and courting couples. Yet contrary to its obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights, the United Kingdom effectively criminalises swingers in contrast to the high degree of tolerance it rightly extends to gay men for precisely the same activities. This provides the justification used by unethical elements in the press to harass swingers even in their own homes. The British government promotes bigotry against swingers by funding an NGO that campaigns against swingers by pretending contrary to the scientific evidence that their lifestyle is detrimental to any couple's relationship. The British government should recognise its responsibilities under the European Convention on Human Rights to respect the sexuality of swingers and stop discriminating against them. It should cease to fund the NGO that campaigns against swingers and investigate whether it has breached its charitable status; and should legalise swingers' activities and lightly regulate their dedicated premises through Acts of Parliament.

Swinging is an enthusiasm that crosses social, economic, political and religious boundaries. The existence of a Christian swingers organisation in the USA is not as surprising as one might suppose (though they seem aware of the irony of their position). American research has consistently found that swingers are, as Bergstrand & Williams say

"surprisingly mainstream, even conservative, in their characteristics."

Up to 90% of swingers identify with a religion and up to 47% regularly attend their place of worship. More recent research has suggested lower levels of religious attachment that nevertheless are still higher than the norm. US swingers tend to be Republicans, middle to upper-middle class, middle-aged and (over 90%) white. They are less racist, less sexist and uphold traditional relationship roles less than the population at large, though they place the same importance on marriage and family life. The incidence of disturbed family backgrounds (a charge levied by critics of swinging) is lower than average. This is not a subculture of the ghettos or the caravan parks.

The situation in Britain is not identical. There has been no research. In the absence of hard figures, from my own 8 years of experience I perceive that an earlier predominance of the late-middle aged and C2s among British swingers has abated. A substantial growth in the number of participants has brought with it a more balanced profile across ages, income and social background. In particular, economically successful couples in their thirties and aspirational 20-something graduates have begun swinging in considerable numbers. An analysis of couples advertising in Desire Contact magazine,38 Britain's leading swingers contact publication, found an average age of 43 (men 45, women 41) with only 15% over 50, 26% under 40 and 59% in their 40s. The Guardian has suggested there are between 500,000 and 1m swingers in the UK. The Internet has vectored this minor social revolution.

Bergstrand & Williams justify their academic interest in swingers by recounting American rates of admitted affairs (37% of husbands, 29% of wives), divorce, family instability and neglected children. In the light of this:

"any attempt to redefine "love" and strengthen the marital bond is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously."

It is not claimed for swinging that is appropriate for every relationship or even a large percentage of them.44 What is claimed is that it benefits or at least brings harmless enjoyment to a proportionately small but numerically large minority of couples. Estimates for the proportion of couples in the US who have included something that can be described as swinging at some point in their relationship vary from 1% to 15%.