7 Ways to Spot A Swinger

Are They Swingers?

If you’re into swinging, chances are you’ve had more than one encounter of trying to ‘spot the swinger’ with your partner. Asking potentially leading questions to a colleague, trying to suss out a new friend’s sexual predilections because they’ve just got that vibe, or looking for some sign or clue that your new neighbors are swingers because they keep regaling you with saucy tales of ‘friends of friends.’ Contrary to popular belief, there are no sure-fire signs that someone is a swinger, neither pampas grass or pineapples do not a swinger make! So, with that in mind, here are my top seven ways to help you spot someone who might enjoy the swinging lifestyle as well.

  1. They don’t recoil in horror when you bring up something sexual in conversation.

    Swingers tend to be far more fluid when it comes to language. The words pussy, cunt, and cock don’t faze them in the slightest, and smutty innuendo produces a laugh instead of a frown. Also, it’s worth noting that you might want to take a moment to consider the type of language they use themselves. People who are more sexually open lean toward less stifled language patterns, and etymologically speaking, will have no problem with sexual suggestion or sultry overtones.

  2. Open body language doesn’t faze them.

    The more sexually open a person or a couple is, the more open their body language will be. Open body language also extends to how they move when they speak. For example, someone who swings is more likely to gesticulate in a gregarious fashion than someone who does not. Closed body language is usually reserved for the more reserved.

  3. Casual touching doesn’t make them uncomfortable, even in front of their partner.

    The brush of an arm here, the across of a shoulder there. For a lot of people, that’s cause for concern. They may be thinking, “Why is this person getting this close to me? Haven’t they ever heard of personal space?” Well, yes. Swingers have heard of personal space, it’s there to be shared. If you’re dealing with someone who may be open to swinging, this type of contact won’t cause them to retract in revulsion. Far from revulsion, they’ll be nonplussed. They may be intrigued, or even reciprocate your actions with some touching of their own. You’ll be able to gauge how into it they are from how they react; just be sure to analyze their behavior and proceed with caution if they’re giving you the cold shoulder.

  4. All advancements are welcome. It’s not just the physical touch that swingers won’t shy away from.

    On the whole, people who swing aren’t shy or retiring. Sexual candidness often goes hand in hand with a candid personality. If you notice similar personality traits, behaviors, and views emerging then perhaps you’re on to a swinging winner.

  5. They’re open with other couples.

    If you’re unsure about a person or couple, have a look at how they behave toward others. Swingers tend to gravitate toward like-minded individuals. After all, no matter what your preferences in life, you seem to hang out with those you share a mutual connection with in one way or another. If you notice them ‘speed-dating’ through society then they may have an ulterior motive themselves.

  6. They’re confident and cool.

    Those that are self-assured in bed are more likely to be self-assured out and about too. The type of confidence that comes from enjoying a swinging lifestyle is difficult to pinpoint; however, it is there and is a confidence recognized by those that are like-minded in their approach to sex. If someone appears to mirror you in terms of confidence and poise then you may be looking at a potential playmate.

  7. They’re playful both in and out of the bedroom.

    We’ve talked about how to observe the behavior of a swinger when it comes to others but it’s equally important to discern their behavior toward each other as well. Not only will a couple that swings be comfortable with one another, they’ll be almost fluid as a couple. They’re also far less likely to suffer from insecurities or jealousy when it comes to their partner and someone else.

If your prospective playmate ticks a few of these boxes then you could be looking at someone to swing with. My bottom line advice for anyone in this situation is to proceed with caution. Those deeply into the swinging lifestyle can assume that everyone is just as open, honest, and adventurous as themselves when in reality this usually is far from true. If a person or couple feels uncomfortable, then your best bet is to shut it down and move right along. However, if they reciprocate, or even encourage your advancements, then you’re swinging spidey-senses may have been bang on the money all along.

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Annabelle Knight
Annabelle is one of the most relevant experts when it comes to dating, sex and relationships. She's a certified couples counsellor and has helped celebrity couples as well as working on Channel 5's Big Brother's Bit on the Side, ITV's The O'Brien Show and the ever popular daytime TV show, This Morning debating hot topics and taking live calls from viewers.
She has her own range of sex toys available online and regularly works with the London radio station, Fubar hosting along side celebrity broadcasters debating hot topics and taking live calls from listeners. In print Annabelle is Now Magazine's resident Sexpert, her main role is answering questions from readers and analysing the body language of the nation's best known faces.

She has also appeared in Channel 4's 'More Sex Please' and Sky Lifetime's 'The Joy of Sex Toys, series one and two. She has worked with a number of publications all over the globe. To top it all off you can even watch her on Netflix in the documentary series 'Frisky Business.'

Annabelle is an international expert and has offered advice all around the world including Europe, India and Australia.

She also offers one on one coaching to couples in need, helping them to achieve a healthier and happier life, whether it be on the phone, via email or through Skype. Please visit Annabelle Knight for more information.
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