First Time At A Swinger Club: Your Frequently Asked Questions Answered

First Time At A Swinger Club

New swingers email me often with their questions about swinger clubs and parties. Going to a club or party for the first time can be nerve-wracking.

If you have questions about going to a swinger club for the first time, you might find your answers here. These are the most common questions I get about swinger clubs from people who have never been before:

What should I wear?

Dress so that you feel confident and sexy, but don’t wear your finest or most coveted clothing. Since you’ve never been here before, you don’t know where your clothes might end up.

Also, dress to undress. Don’t wear something that’s complicated to take off (unless that’s a fun form of foreplay to you) and put back on.

What should I bring?

Be prepared. Whatever you need is up to you to bring. Condoms, lube, wipes, etc. I never go to a party without condoms, an extra pair of panties, a travel toothbrush, toothpaste, and small bottle of my favorite body wash. (Yes! All of this fits in my tiny little purse.) Sometimes I don’t use any of it, but I’d rather be ready for anything.

The club is BYOB. What does that mean?

Bring your own bottle (of alcohol, usually, but non-alcoholic is fine too!) Usually when you check in at the door, your bottle is marked with a number or with your first name and given to the bartender. Throughout the night, you can go to the bar and ask the bartender to pour you a drink from your bottle. Make sure you bring cash to tip the bartender.

We are hoping to find a full swap couple. We would love a threesome with another woman. Will we have better luck at a club than online?

Every club/party is different. Make sure your expectations aren’t too specific. Expect to have fun, but remember that it’s up to you to have a good time no matter what happens. Make efforts to meet people and chat with them. Don’t just sit by yourself and wait for others to approach you.

What’s the best way to approach people?

The way you act when you meet a stranger in any other public setting should be the way you act at a swinger club or party. Don’t start a graphic or explicit conversation about sex immediately. Even though you’ll be in a sexually charged environment, not everyone who is there wants to have a sexual conversation with you.

What if someone approaches me and I’m not interested?

It’s perfectly acceptable to politely decline anyone for any reason at a swinger club. A simple “no thank you” or a polite “maybe another time” or a “thanks, but no thanks” is appropriate. If someone is making you uncomfortable, let them know. If they continue to make you uncomfortable, alert security or a staff member. From my experience, most people are respectful at swinger clubs and those who aren’t are warned or asked to leave immediately.

What else should I bring?

Be prepared, even if a club or party listing says they provide everything. I never go without condoms, an extra pair of panties, a travel toothbrush, toothpaste, and small bottle of my favorite body wash. (Yes! All of this fits in my tiny little purse.) Sometimes I don’t use any of it, but I’d rather be ready for anything.

Do you have any other questions? Post them in the comments and we’ll answer them.

Eva Giunto on Twitter
Eva Giunto
writer at Evagiunto.com
Eva Giunto is a writer, daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend who happens to have a high sex drive. She enjoys many things besides sex, but sex is by far her favorite thing. Eva hopes to be one of many women who share a positive and realistic perspective on those of us who love sex. As women, we are esteemed as great friends, business professionals, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, etc... yet there is still so much stigma that makes a woman with a high sex drive have to hide this facet of her life. Visit Eva Giunto for more information.
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