Have you fantasized about watching your wife with other men? Does the thought of knowing she wants and enjoys other men really turn you on? Have you thought about asking her to have sex with someone else? If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, you are probably thinking about asking your wife if she’d like to become a hotwife.
Before you approach her, there are many things to consider. Your fantasy might be something you can’t mix with real life. You and your wife may not be ready for it. You may not be aware that feelings of insecurity, jealousy, or rejection might occur in either or possibly both of you. If you think you want to ask your wife to be your hotwife, here are some things to consider:
The strength of your relationship is the biggest deciding factor. Do you trust each other? Are the two of you genuine and sincere during good times and bad times? Is your sex life healthy? If you can both communicate openly about your desires without fear, you’re off to a good start. Ask her to choose porn for both of you to watch or to tell you about one of her fantasies. Take the time to find out what turns her on when she’s not thinking of you at all. Encourage her to tell you what might turn her on and make her want to have sex with someone else. Do not bring this up as a solution to a strained or tumultuous relationship. If you feel like your relationship is in trouble or you are going through a rough patch, it’s probably not the right time to change your sexual dynamic.
Does she truly feel that you love and value her? Many women are hesitant to enjoy an open marriage because they fear that their partner might think less of them or lose respect for them. It may take time to convince her that your feelings for her won’t change if she becomes a hotwife. Most of us were raised to believe that a woman who enjoys a variety of sexual partners is undesirable. Our culture is just starting to encourage women to celebrate and enjoy sexuality on their own terms. Find ways to assure her of your love. Tell her exactly why you’re turned on by the thought of her being a hotwife. Don’t leave her guessing.
Your own self confidence can make or break this whole thing. If you feel threatened by the idea of another man doing something with her better than you do it, you may want to keep your hotwife fantasies instead of trying to make them happen in real life. If she tells you the details of what she wants to do with another man, how will you respond? She may enjoy sexual positions, toys, or different techniques with other men that she doesn’t typically experience with you. How would you feel about that?
If she decides she wants to be a hotwife:
Do this on her terms especially if this was your idea. She may need time to get comfortable with knowing that her husband wants her to enjoy other men. She may not be entirely convinced that your relationship won’t be threatened by such a big change. If she needs time and reassurance, give it to her.
Check in with one another. Make sure both of you are comfortable with the guidelines and boundaries you set. Make sure she knows how you feel, and always ask her how she feels. Don’t be afraid to modify the way you go about things if one of you is uncomfortable with something. Being a hotwife should enhance your relationship. If it causes stress or makes either one of you uncertain about your relationship, you may want to take a break.
Remember that you can both change your mind. If you and your wife try this out and find that it was a mistake, you don’t have to let this experience harm your relationship. You can learn and grow together as a couple and find other adventurous ways to make your sex life exciting.