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I love Neapolitan ice cream. I try to get a little bite of each flavor on my spoon, so that I can enjoy it all in one fell swoop. I’ve liked ice cream all my life. Now beans, not so much. I can remember my mother trying to get me to eat beans when I was younger. No matter what she said, it was a no go for me.

Years ago, at dinner, a friend of mine and I talked about food, our likes and dislikes, and the conversation segued into sex. We both agreed that different foods meant different things to people, and foods could bring up many great memories, including sexual ones.

First dates and the like…

Ninety percent of first dates involve food when people set them. You go to dinner, or you go to the movies and order popcorn and sodas, or you go to an athletic event where there is a snack bar, or you might visit a coffee shop.

The simple fact of the matter is food involves all the senses, sight, touch, taste, smell and sound. Many foods, such as chocolate, oysters, strawberries, and whipped cream, are known as aphrodisiacs.

Those are foods known to increase a person’s urge to have sex. But what about other foods, some a little less obvious than the ones that are on everyone’s list?

With that idea in mind, I polled several friends to ask them what food they associated most with sex, and why.

A few had answers from the list above, but some of them had answers that really made me smile.

From the professionals…

*Brynn Paulin, a talented erotic writer, said her favorite food in sex is whipped cream. Why? “Because it’s a fun accessory.” She said. And she’s right. After all, it appears as one of the main foods when you search for the word aphrodisiac.

*Demi Alex, another wonderful erotic writer friend of mine, said the first thing that came to mind for her was chocolate for tasty art. “I like the idea of sensually sharing, mouth to mouth, and for that you need strawberries. There is something sexy about feeding each other something refreshing like strawberries. People might not think it’s very erotic, but I think it’s very passionate and romantic.”

*Erotic writer Tia Fanning says her favorite food for sex is ice cream. “It’s easy to use/eat during sex play. What woman doesn’t want to eat ice cream in bed?” she asks with a laugh. “Plus, it incorporates temperature play, cold and hot, yummy whipped cream to eat off various private parts and you can add a “cherry” as a reward.

Writers aren’t the only ones who like to play…

I didn’t want to just poll those who write about sex in their daily lives. Sex, after all, plays a roll in everyone’s lives. So I asked three friends about sex and food, and what it means to them.

Bryan, a friend who loves to laugh, said when he thinks of sex and food the main thing that comes to mind are smoked oysters. Those they may be top of the list in the sexual word, his reasons for listing them had nothing to do with taste, or smell, but more to do with sight. “They look like a clit,” he said. He didn’t elaborate, and really, he didn’t need to. In this case, the sight was the arousal factor.

Bryan’s wife, Lydia, said the first thing that came to her mind was apple pie. For her, it was the memory. “It was the first thing we did together and well, you have to do something for the forty-five minute the pie is in the oven.”

Lydia had a second choice for food, which very much mirrored that of Tia Fanning. She would also choose a “good, vanilla bean ice cream with a warm fudge sauce because of the contrasts, and well, what doesn’t taste better with warm fudge?”

Personal associations and memories

For Lydia, it’s not only the memory of making apple pie with her husband for the first time, but the hot and cold of a sundae built on someone’s body. What a deliciously wonderful idea.

My friend Julia had an answer that made me say, “Really? That’s totally new to me.” Her answer involved a shared memory.

“For me, it’s black olives,” Julia said. “My ex-husband once told me that they turned me on, and from then on he’d order me olives whenever we went out. It was his way of saying he wanted sex. If I ate them, I was saying I wanted sex, too.”

That’s a wonderful, shared experience that you can do together in public without letting the people around you know.

What about this author?

I do have a favorite food that reminds me of sex, but I don’t talk about it much, but since I’ve had others share their secrets, I will do the same. Mine is cheesecake, just plain, ordinary cheesecake. The velvety texture is perfect for sharing, and for smearing on body parts and then licking off. It can make a birthday very memorable.

The main point about food and sex, I think, is not to be defined by the lists people put out. Your food may bring about a wonderful memory, it may be on your list because of taste or texture, or it may be on your list because it is just a little naughty.

If you need ideas, you might sit yourself and your significant other in front of a baking or cooking competition and see which food makes you go, “Yum,” or “Oh my.” When the show is over, make a run to the grocery store and bring back your item and get ready for a flavorful, and maybe very messy, fun time.