Masturbation Parties: What to Think About

Masturbation Party of One - Mirror Play

 It might sound intimidating at first but it is actually a great way to ease into a group sex scenario… because there isn’t any group sex. Masturbation parties have an emphasis on masturbation, which means that no one will approach you and you won’t feel the need to approach anyone either.

Masturbation parties are known for their relaxed and accepting atmospheres. They are the perfect place to venture into exhibitionism/voyeurism while connecting with your body in a unique scenario.

If are lucky enough to be on the receiving end of an invitation to a masturbation party, there are a few things that you should consider before jumping right in. As always, everyone’s experiences are different but these are some tips that can act as a starting point.

  1. Number of People

You should know approximately how many people are going to be in attendance. There are pros and cons to both small and large groups, but you should show up to the party knowing if it is an intimate gathering or if you might get lost in a crowd. Small gatherings can provide an opportunity to get to know your co-masturbators, which will make it feel more intimate. Large gatherings can feel impersonal, which might be ideal if you want to fade into the background. The optimal group size is really based on personal preferences – there is no right answer but you should at least be aware of the size of the gathering before ringing the doorbell.

  1. Identities

Some masturbation parties are exclusive to certain groups of sexual identities. Some masturbation parties are open to everyone. Some are strictly for couples while some allow single participants. The invitation should mention if it is a completely welcoming event or if there are certain restrictions. You wouldn’t want to show up at an exclusively gay cis-male event with a female friend, so make sure to check the invite!

  1. All About Consent

Before heading to any type of play party, you should become familiar with ‘enthusiastic consent’. Even at a masturbation party, where you’re only touching yourself, there are moments that require consent. You are at a sexual event so some people may feel pressured and some people may try to break the rules of the party. If everyone at the party has a good understanding of consent, then you can feel more comfortable jacking off in public. You can always suggest that the host opens up a discussion about rules and consent prior to everyone taking off their clothes. This isn’t meant to scare you – this is just a reminder that consent is always required.

Note that some masturbation parties do allow for partners to play with each other or allow new friends to play with each other. Make sure you know the rules of the party before initiating anything.

  1. Be A Good Observer

At some point during your night, you will take on the role of voyeur. You can’t possibly sit in a room full of masturbating people without ever watching someone masturbate. It is going to happen – you’re going to be watching people touch themselves. They might be next to you or across the room from you, but it is going to happen. Remember to be respectful and always treat them like you would hope to be treated.

At some parties, there will be people who remain strictly voyeurs throughout the night. Make sure to ask the host before accepting the invitation if this is the case. Of course, some people may have agreed to participate and then decide not to – this must be respected (see tip #3).

  1. Bring Wine!

Okay, it doesn’t have to strictly be wine but you should bring a little guest for the host. Treat it like you would any other party! These are people who are opening their homes for your masturbating pleasure, so make sure not to show up empty-handed. Meeting strangers can be awkward. Meeting strangers you’re about to masturbate in front of can be awkward. Bringing a gift is always a great icebreaker.

If it is a large masturbation party at a studio or event space, then of course you don’t need to bring anything with you for the host. Just bring a cute pair of underwear!

  1. Sex Accessories

The best thing I did at our first masturbation party was bringing my favorite bullet vibrator. There was no way that my nerves were going to let me have an orgasm via my hand in front of strangers. My favorite vibrator however, does not care about my nervousness. Sex toys are an important part of a healthy sex life – so don’t be ashamed to bring some along with you! Other attendees will appreciate that you broke the ice so that they feel comfortable getting their sex toys from their bags.

The same goes for lubricant. If this is something you enjoy using or something you need to use (like me when I’m nervous), then bring some with you!


The most important thing to remember for a masturbation party is to have fun! Masturbation is meant to be a pleasurable experience, so it makes sense to want to share it with others! If you’re nervous about a masturbating in front of a group, then start off with mutual masturbation with a partner or masturbating in front of a mirror.

You can search for masturbation parties on sites like SwingTowns! Make sure to let us know about your experiences and share any extra tips! Happy partying!

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A Couple of Kinks
A Couple of Kinks is a sex-positive couple that focuses on sex toy reviews, ‘how to’ guides and stories of their sexcapades. They are hoping to help impact the sex toy industry by focusing on safe, ethical and LGBT+ inclusive companies, while also providing sex education and stories to help normalize sex and kink. Please visit A Couple of Kinks to learn more.
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