So you want to fuck your partner’s ass… congratulations!
You may think that you are about to try to pull off the impossible, but have no fear… there is a way to get to that very special place you want to be. Keep these tips in mind when trying to dip your dick into the naughty place.
1) The Approach
I’m just going to come right out and say it: do not go for the “oops, wrong hole!” attempt! It’s an extremely bad idea from just about every way imaginable. Instead, try this crazy idea: discuss it with your partner. Your partner may be anxious or scared about trying new things and just needs some reassurance that you are considerate of these feelings. Unfortunately, anal sex comes with a stigma attached of being depraved and/or forbidden, but you can peel off this stigma if you communicate openly about your thoughts and desires. Who knows… your partner could be thinking along the same lines, but they are afraid that you might not be interested!
2) Knock First
When you are about to go in “the backdoor,” you don’t want to just barge in without warning (pun absolutely intended). It’s always best to start with a little bit of a warmup to allow those muscles and nerves to get accustomed to something going in, and prepare your partner for what it will feel like. The most important thing here is to start small and work your way up – a finger is always a good way to begin; if you are going to use toys, make sure you use something thin and not so “challenging.”
3) Doing the Deed
The time has come – you and your partner have talked it over, both of you are ready to go for it… let it rip! No, seriously, don’t. In fact, the last thing you want to do during anal sex is anything involving the word “rip.” You need to take some steps during the actual sex to make sure you both enjoy it.
First, understand that there is no such thing as too much lube. If you think you have enough, add some more. Remember your anatomy lesson from 5th grade health class: a woman’s vagina lubricates itself during sex; not true for the butthole. Use enough lube, and your partner’s anus will thank you.
Second, understand that you aren’t in a porno and start slow and shallow. Begin with calm and easy thrusts until your partner gets used to the feeling, especially if you happen to be “well endowed.”
Third, make sure you keep communicating during the sex. How else will you know if your partner is ready for you to speed up or go deeper? Talk it out, make sure you ask if your partner is okay, if you need to go softer or stop… or if you need to start pounding (hey, you never know until you’re in the moment, right?).
4) Prepare for Reality
Once you’ve gotten down to business, it’s time to be ready to deal with the fact that this is real life – things may not necessarily go perfectly, and you need to be ready to roll with it.
For example: despite your incredibly high opinion of your performance, your partner may not have enjoyed the experience as much as you did… after all, it was them taking it up the ass, not you! No matter what the result, you have to give your partner credit for trying and respect their feelings. Even if it wasn’t all perfect, a positive “aftercare” experience may leave then open to trying again in the future.
Another fact you are going to have to accept: you are dealing with someone’s asshole, remember; there is a decent chance that there might be some “mess” involved. But hey, you wanted to try anal sex, and that’s the risk you take.
Speaking of dealing with a mess: it’s important to do your best to keep yourself safe to avoid getting seriously ill. It’s a good idea to keep your backside clean when attempting anal; you don’t need to do a complete enema or anything – like I said before, you’re not in a porno – but a good wash is best. And as elegant as it looks in the movies, do not do ass-to-pussy or ass-to-mouth; if you do, you might as well be praying for your partner to get a full blown UTI or stomach infection… not the most effective way to turn your partner onto the idea of trying anal again.
5) Anal play is fun for guys, too!
Yes ladies, you heard that right, you can try these tips, too! Anal stimulation can be very pleasurable for men, also (as long as he’s comfortable with the idea, see tip #1). From something minor like a finger during a BJ, to something a little more advanced like wearing a butt plug during sex, to full-on anal penetration with either toys or a strap-on… a man’s backside shouldn’t necessarily be considered off limits. In fact, anal/prostate stimulation can heighten sexual pleasure and increase the intensity of orgasms. Take it from a guy who has been pegged more than a few times by his wife: don’t knock it until you try it.