Skip to main content

For those among us with negative associations with schoolwork, the idea of bringing homework into a BDSM relationship for your sub might be cringe-worthy. I’m asking you to set aside that reflexive instinct and open your eyes to a world of possibilities.

Homework isn’t just for the overbearing teacher and delinquent student, it’s popular with dominants of all stripes who want to exercise their power over their submissive even after the last spanking is a distant memory.

Your homework could be kind, cruel, or nurturing. Homework can be an effective tool for D/s relationships that integrate behavioral modification, or a fun extra to toss on your (consenting) sub when you want to be sure that your influence has a lasting impression. Here are a few of my favorite homework assignments:

Exploratory masturbation

Exploratory masturbation is a great homework assignment for a sub, especially one who is interested in a type of play but unsure where to begin. Whether the assignment is finding their G-spot, milking their prostate, training to stretch an orifice, or trying a new toy, your sub will be surprised to have homework they look forward to for once.

Edging or forced orgasms

Another fun masturbation assignment for your submissive is an edging or forced orgasm session. Edging becomes delicious torture for a sub who can’t cum, and if they were in chastity before, it turns into a downright evil task. On the other end of the spectrum, forced orgasms from masturbation are a great display of obedience. Is there anything more flattering than your sub being so devoted to you that they’ll eke out the required orgasms even when nobody else is present and it’s painful to do so?

Writing assignments

Depending on the dynamic and kinks of my partners, I assign homework that is similar to a traditional school assignment. I’ve asked submissives to write me essays on the meaning of pain, poems about how exquisite I am, erotic fiction about their kinks, and, for the sub that I want to endure mindless tedium, research papers.

Research and Oral Reports

As someone who enjoys a lot of non-sexual domination, it pleases me to make submissives useful outside of the bedroom. I often assign unusual research topics to my submissives and then make them tell me about what they learned. If I really want to amp up the tedium, I’ll spring a surprise quiz on them. It’s a great party trick.

Shopping

Sometimes your sub needs a new sex toy or outfit. While picking these things can be fun, some dominants don’t enjoy shopping, or won’t be interested in controlling these things. In these instances, it can be useful to assign it as homework for your sub instead. As an assignment, it gets you more involved than you would be if they went shopping without your knowledge. It can also be very helpful for getting an idea of your sub’s sense of style and interests. Sometimes the homework is buying a gift for you. What they buy doesn’t even have to be kinky. Sometimes the shopping is price comparing dishwashers because they’ve been procrastinating on buying one for weeks. Your dynamic will dictate a lot of how this sort of assignment works.

Self-care

Some dominants are loving, nurturing types, and many of these doms can make use of self-care homework for their sub. Assignments that require a sub to do self-care tasks help add a layer of accountability that may motivate them to make an effort that may be difficult to exert otherwise. These tasks can be simple, “Take a shower this week,” or complicated, “Make a budget to sort out your finances.” It’s important to be sure that your sub is interested in this before you assign it. Some subs won’t appreciate meddling in their self-care habits.

As I’ve effectively demonstrated, homework doesn’t have to be dull! Homework is a way to keep yourself at the front of your sub’s mind until your next kinky encounter. This list is only a small fraction of the types of homework you can assign – the only limits are your imagination, consent, and the law.

Read More: Tips for Being a Good Submissive in Your BDSM Relationship