Kinks, Fetishes, Subcultures, Alternative Lifestyles… What does it all mean? Are you ready to try something new? Do you wonder where to begin?
FANTASY ROLE PLAYING
The easiest, most common kink found in the bedroom today is erotic Fantasy Role Playing. Erotic roleplay has gained so much traction in popular culture that even the “mostly” vanilla crowd occasionally indulges.
Versatile and easily adjustable for a wide range of scenarios and comfort levels, roleplay can be simple or complex. For example, one might roleplay in their imagination alone, quietly visualizing fantasy scenarios while engaging in normal sexual intercourse. Alternatively, roleplaying might require an elaborate setup “on location” complete with costumes and props.
Roleplay allows for different emotional experiences. Players might prefer to act out fun and flirty characters like naughty sorority girls, or simply desire to chase a frisky French maid around the house. Other players might choose to participate in vivid scenes meant to impose extreme fear and humiliation—like acting out a realistic capture/rape fantasy in an interrogation room at a BDSM club.
Another versatile and popular kink among those in various subcultures is bondage. Bondage, employed by both kinksters and fetishists alike, is described as “the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation.”
Light bondage is extremely popular in the form of kinky fun. Think furry handcuffs attached to a headboard, or a scarf restraining a person to a chair. Some players prefer to use vinyl bondage tape to secure wrists and ankles together. Bondage is often used to highlight vulnerability—for example, a naked submissive bound with leather cuffs, hogtied, and hoisted in suspension gear. For those who like discipline, bondage can be used as a form of punishment—like you might chain up an offender and/or shackle him or her to a dungeon wall. Have you ever heard of Shibari? Surprisingly, Bondage also has a history associated with the sensual arts the form of Kinbaku. Kinbaku-bi literally means “the beauty of tight binding.”
EROTIC SENSORY PLAY
Manipulate the five senses to add fun and excitement to your sex life. With temperature play, the insertion of an ice-cold dildo into an orifice in contrast to hot wax dripping on the skin might propel a person into an orgasm. Some in the lifestyle (–like me! me! me!) enjoy the sweet, stinging kiss of a violet wand. To a person bound and blindfolded, feathers might sensually tease to arousal, unless you decide to tickle-torture that person. For those who prefer a little pinch over a light tickle, invest in a Wartenberg wheel.
Warming lotions and scented massage oils rubbed into all the right places might have your partner begging for a climax. Flavored gels and tasty lubricants make reaching an orgasm that much sweeter. Purchase high quality erotic movies as a visual feasts for the eyes as well as food for thought. Speaking of food, search out exotic markets that specialize in aphrodisiacs, and find specialty stores that sell perfumes and colognes laced with sexual pheromones.
The point here is this: don’t be afraid to see, hear, taste, touch and see your way to a better orgasm.
DISCIPLINE and PUNISHMENT
Uh-oh! *shaking head* Naughty, naughty, naughty.
Wish someone would take you in hand and teach you to be good—because you are having waaay too much fun being bad? In some lifestyles, men and women caught masturbating find their hands cuffed and their privates locked in chastity belts. Dominants are known to gag mouthy submissives. Corner time is common in domestic discipline.
Behavior modifications might include a trip over-the-knee for a spanking with a hand, paddle, or belt. More serious offences might find a person flogged, switched, thrashed, birched or caned. Hard-core players use riding crops, cat-o-nine-tails, and bullwhips to dole out punishments. Worse (in my humble opinion) is figging, the practice of inserting a “plug” of skinned ginger root into a vagina or anus. Despite the innocuous appearance of the plug, oil secreted from the root burns terribly. First invented for disciplinary use on female slaves in Ancient Greece, figging is still used today as a means of punishment in Domestic Discipline and BDSM lifestyles.
PAIN, TORTURE and EDGEPLAY
Pain and torture is popular among sadists and masochists who require “extreme” or “taboo” elements in their intimate encounters. Such fetish elements might include verbal and physical abuse, humiliation, breast or cock and ball torture, piercing (with needles, pins, etc.) and cutting, razors and knife play, fire play, erotic electrostimulation, and erotic asphyxiation. Medical fetishism also lends itself to edgeplay with quasi-medical procedures such as administering enemas and performing catheterizations.
OTHER KINKS and FETISHISMS
Do you know that some people engage in common kinks without knowing it? Yes! It’s true! By definition, many vanilla couples engage in practices that are actually kinky. They might enjoy being held down, having their hair pulled, and receiving sexy spankings while engaged in “doggie style” sex. On the other end of the spectrum are some kinksters who actually prefer masturbation, manual stimulation, oral and/or anal sex to coitus, and some who like to be fisted, gang banged, or filmed while having wild sex.
It’s more than just sex—it’s a lifestyle. From Nudists to Domestic Disciplinarians, there is an alternative lifestyle for every taste. Two of the most popular lifestyles are Polyamory and BDSM.
Non-Monogamy is a polyamory relationship dynamic that is becoming increasingly popular with couples in the Western world. Those in this lifestyle might be swingers, couples in open relationships or open marriages, and/or polygynandry family units.
BDSM is fetish lifestyle with ties to a leather subculture that is centered mostly on the erotic elements of Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission, and Sadism & Masochism. Besides interacting with Tops and Bottoms, you might also encounter Switches as well as fetish-focused poly units with households that may include servants, consensual slaves, littles (ageplayers portraying children) and human pets. People who like to be objectified may also live in these households as human furniture, human dolls, and human stuffed animals.