Are you Poly or a Swinger?

Photo Source: Robert Ashworth

Are you poly, swinger or something in between? What’s the difference?

Swingers are non-monogamous people who engage in sex with partners outside of their primary relationship. Wikipedia defines polyamory as “the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships involving more than two people, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It has been described as ‘consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy.'”

There are many swingers who have strict rules against any type of emotionally intimate relationship outside of their primary relationship. These are rules in place to preserve the primary relationship, but how effective are rules in governing our emotions?

In my opinion, everyone is poly, or at the very least has the capacity to be poly. Think about it. Have you ever intimately known someone who loved one person and only that one person for the rest of their life?

This opinion of mine has been reinforced by 17 years of being a part of the SwingTowns team. If a member decides to delete their account at SwingTowns, we ask them what their reason is for leaving. Guess what the number one reason is for people who classify themselves as swingers… they found a special someone or a special couple and they just aren’t looking to meet anyone new. So their relationship with this other person or people has expanded to include something more (meaningful, maybe?) than just sex… not that there’s anything wrong with casual sex of course!

So, what do you think? Are you poly, a swinger or something in between?

Mandi

21 Comments on Are you Poly or a Swinger?

SharedCoupleHim said : Guest Report Subscribe 8 months ago

Having read a lot of articles on Poly and having visited just as many websites supporting it, it's amazing how many people I see that still don't fully understand what Poly is. Most of what I see is people thinking it's all about threesomes or group sex. That's not it. Poly is multiple loving, caring, romantic relationships. Open is more about sex with others, aka Swinging.

I am a supporter of Poly (among other things) even though my Lady and I are in an Open relationship, not Poly. Prior to meeting her, I was convinced that Poly was what I always had been. What I eventually realized was that the women I had been with in the past were not those I had meshed with completely. When I met my Lady, I discovered I had found a partner (and wasn't looking for one, so there was a bonus) who I meshed with completely. It was then that I realized what we had, and who we were/are, was Open.

Although we enjoy sex with others, both solo and playing with others together, our relationship is about us growing together as a couple. In a sense, She was always Open and never knew it, and although I thought I had always been Poly, I finally realized that I was Open all along as well.

It's all about people doing what works for them. Whether someone is Open, Poly, or even Mono, I support them. Enjoy Life!

Rick said : Guest Report Subscribe 8 months ago

My wife and I are poly but we do swing once in a while. Our goal though is to find a couple to have a quad with or at least good friends with occasional benefits. For us making friends and long term connections is supper important.

Charles said : Guest Report Subscribe 9 months ago

I am definitely Poly. Although I've tried to love one woman on more than one occasion. I always end up finding myself loving and being in love with more than one.

Margaritaville2 said : Guest Report Subscribe 10 months ago

We are 100% swingers. To us, poly means an emotional/love relationship with more than one person. We have a primary relationship that only includes the two of us and within that relationship we enjoy casual sex with others.

Jer said : Guest Report Subscribe 10 months ago

We consider ourselves Poly at this point, but all of our poly relationships have involved both of us. Currently we have a steady BF/GF couple that we visit and spend most of our time with. It's become more then just casual sex and that's definitely the difference

ActsOfPleasure said : Guest Report Subscribe 11 months ago

We are both- poly and swingers. She currently has me and another husband, but we also enjoy recreational play with more casual acquaintances.

docmoody said : Guest Report Subscribe 11 months ago

I am a Pansexual, Polyamourus male. Looking for fun and frolic, but I seek people who know who they are internally.

goada said : Guest Report Subscribe 12 months ago

We are swingers, we love slutty behavior and screwing like animals, but when the dust settles it is just the two of us!

Orallyyours269 said : Guest Report Subscribe 12 months ago

We are swingers, not poly. My husband and I view poly as being connected more closely with other lovers. Swingers are more about less complicated interactions (sounds crass but more into it for the recreational sex.). As always to each his own view!

CK Norford said : Guest Report Subscribe 12 months ago

Comment to Belissima77, perhaps you should consider Mornonism, in regards to the desire for a communal household.

Blain said : Guest Report Subscribe 12 months ago

Some people in a poly relationship have many lovers while one of their lovers may believe they will settle just for them because they let them know they do love them but its hard for them to give up what they share themselves with

BJ said : Guest Report Subscribe 12 months ago

We have been in the lifestyle for over 18 years and we're moving towards wanting a poly relationship. We want a close, intimate relationship with either another female or couple. Even though quality over quantity has always been our forte, it's becoming moreso over time.

guest said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

I feel there is a huge difference between these which needs to be an ongoing discussion between a couple.

RanchoCpl said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

I would put us firmly in the other category. We are swingers but not the one night stand kind of thing. We enjoy the company of others in and out of the bedroom. We love the idea of a relationship as a ploy group but like swinging open communication is the key. We had a girlfriend once upon a time and it was great, we would welcome having a steady girlfriend again. just finding some one who is the right fit.

Muff said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

I myself am one that completely believes in Poly and would love to have 2 or possibly 3 more women around. I happen to enjoy a woman's body as much as, if not more, than my husband , whom by nature is a narcissist. Of course he seems to think i'm nuts so where is he coming up with this nonsense? I's his narcissistic, Beside who could ask for more than to have other women in the home. If my husband was having sex with one, we know cause they hear everything. The thing that really makes it work is truth and open communication and I suppose with me and him as well we love sex and I absolutely just love eating pussy out, starting with by us girls watch them touch, feel and hopefully lick and suck in the moist sensual wet and favorite place I have. I love, love, love puu

Bellissima77 said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

I think that this is an excellent question to ask of your other partners as your relationship develops. In my situation, I am definitely a Poly... I would love to have a household full of inter related lovers that moved through each others rooms easily. Almost like a lovers commune where we all contributed to the running of a household or several and each of us was able to explore each other. My husband on the other hand is a swinger he wants to ensure that when we lay our heads down to sleep at night, we are together and alone in our bed. He is not against building emotional connections with our partners, but it is a shallower emotional connection. This may change if he starts to build emotional connections with his paramours or if we make a strong connection with a couple we are swinging with but at this point that is the way.

said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

I FEEL the difference between swing and Polly is that swing involves the couple in the action ( together, at the same time). Like going to a swing club or party TOGETHER. Mabe separate rooms, but there together. Poly, on the other hand, is going out to play independently. " Hon, I'm going to the club tonight. Wanna CUM ?". " No thanks, I think I'll stay home tonight !"

Bling8585 said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

I would classify ourselves as swingers, although the idea of having a few couples that we share a relationship outside of swinging does not makes us Poly.

MandL1995 said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

We are poly...we want the on going relationship with a select couple(s).

Megamike408 said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

We are swingers and not polys.

Jennifer said : Guest Report Subscribe one year ago

Poly is umbrella that covers. Swinging, non-monogomy, open, threesome, etc anything that isnt limited to two committed partners.

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